Zebras and the inconvenient truth about communication trainings

There’s something about communication trainings that we massively underestimate.

On paper, they look relatively harmless. People walk in expecting to learn a few techniques — how to structure a message, use storytelling, build executive presence. And they do learn those things.

But meanwhile, something much bigger is happening underneath.

You think you booked a training. What you actually did is ask people to change how they behave in front of others. And that is a completely different thing.

When theory suddenly becomes very real

 “I don´t even know if I am black with white stripes or if I am white with black stripes.” Marty the Zebra in Madagascar

You could open with more intention. You could introduce yourself in a way that actually says something. You could simplify your message instead of deep diving into the details. You could…

But you hesitate. Should I actually say it like this here? Nobody was in the training with me.

Black stripes or white stripes?

Inside yourself, you feel it. You know you could make a bigger impact by applying what you have learned. But applying it means showing a different behavior. In front of others. And the moment you do — people look up. They become alert. They instinctively try to understand what just changed in the dynamic.

The Zebra Effect

This is where it gets psychological.

Zebras survive in groups partly through visual blending. When they move together, their stripes create confusion and make it harder to isolate one individual. The safety is in the pattern. In the collective movement. In not standing out too much from the rest.

Humans in organizations are not different. We adapt incredibly quickly to behavior norms and communication norms. To what is considered “professional.” To how people usually speak, present, explain, interrupt, structure, or stay vague. That adaptation gives social safety.

Then someone comes back from a communication training and suddenly starts changing their behavior.

• They open meetings differently.
• They make complex information easier to understand.
• They speak more clearly about their value.
• They use storytelling in environments where data and facts usually do the talking.

And psychologically, something shifts immediately: they become different! Simply because they stopped blending into the existing pattern. That’s the Zebra Effect as described by Psychologist Jordan Petersen.

The moment someone moves differently from the herd, the herd notices.

And this is exactly why communication trainings are much more uncomfortable than they look on paper.

Because what organizations often think they are asking for is: “communicate more clearly.”

But what people often experience internally is: “I am behaving differently in front of others now.”

And that gap is exactly where it gets uncomfortable.

A real story

In my “Launch Your Tech Talk” training, I recently witnessed how much it takes to actually change communication. The group was asked to apply storytelling basics to a presentation they brought with them. Even in that safe space, I saw it happen: perfect corporate content, presented with authority and confidence. But the storytelling assignment? Almost completely missing. Why? Because it´s hard to change, to stand out, especially when you know that next week you’ll be presenting to your management team.

Nobody prepared Marty

This is the part we don’t talk about enough in learning and development. We act as if communication is purely rational. As if people learn a technique and then simply apply it. It´s not that simple.

But this is bigger than one person in one meeting.

Because very often, the people in the room are the first movers. A team. A group of professionals who are genuinely ready to reflect and grow.

And then Marty walked back into the office.

People leave a training with clarity, tools and ideas. And then they step back into an environment that hasn’t moved with them. The language is still the same. The way meetings run is still the same. Clarity is still optional. The expectations are still unspoken but very present. And in that environment, every new behavior becomes visible.

Welcome back, Marty.

A real story

Training aspiring SAP consultants, one question continually popping up is “But can we do this at the customer?”
It’s a small question with a big implication. They’ve learned something new. They can feel it could make a difference. But before they even try it, they’re already scanning the environment: is this allowed here? Will this be accepted? Are others doing it too?

That’s Marty. Standing at the edge of the herd, wondering if it’s safe to move differently.

If you are leading people, you are already role modeling communication — or should be

If you are leading people, it’s worth realizing that your team takes far more cues from you than from the training itself. Just like zebras look at the movement of the herd to understand whether it is safe to move differently, teams watch their leaders to understand what behavior is actually accepted around here.

That also means communication culture cannot be outsourced to a training provider alone. If leaders keep communicating in the same old way while expecting their teams to suddenly become more intentional, clear or audience-sensitive, people notice the gap immediately. And they draw their own conclusions about what’s really expected of them.

Communication culture is learned through behavior. Not through a training day. Through what people see happening around them, every day, in every meeting.

So, if you want people to communicate differently in front of others – you go first. Because you’re part of the herd. And the herd is watching you.

A real story

“Why should we expose ourselves on LinkedIn if our leadership isn’t visible either?”

It’s a question that comes up more than you’d think — and honestly? It’s a completely fair point.

Because if the people asking them to be more visible aren’t visible themselves, the message is clear: this is something we say, not something we do. And that gap is exactly where Marty gets stuck.

Don’t suddenly change all your stripes

One thing that becomes visible quite often after communication trainings is that people feel the need to change everything at once. The opening. The storytelling. The visibility. The entire way they present themselves in front of others. I tell them: don´t do that. It´s too much for you — and for your herd.

Communication culture shifts much more naturally through smaller visible changes. You do not need to suddenly switch from being a black zebra with white stripes into a white zebra with black stripes. Sometimes it’s enough to slightly change the rhythm of how you move within the herd.

One different opening. One clearer message. One story instead of another overloaded slide.

Over time, those small moments slowly normalize a different way of communicating. People start seeing it more often, mirroring parts of it, and realizing the herd is not running away from it after all.

Prepare the Martys of your organization

If you are booking these kinds of trainings, it helps to look one step further than the session itself. Where do you want people to show up differently? In which situations does it actually matter? Who else needs to be part of this so that it doesn’t stay within one group?

Look at it across all roles, across all levels, across all trainings.

What happens when Marty comes back from the workshop?

Maybe the real question after every communication training is not: “Did people learn something new?”. That´s the inconvenient truth for you and for us as training providers.

Maybe the question is: “What happens when someone starts showing different stripes in front of the herd?” And whether the environment allows them to keep showing them.

After all: are you looking at a white zebra with black stripes. Or a black zebra with white stripes?

Perspective changes everything. Because maybe communication culture is nothing more than a group of people agreeing on which stripes feel familiar.

By Sophia Gruner