Lidy Rutten

“If something goes wrong, we often think it’s the end, when in reality, it’s just a new beginning.”

What is your personal story?

What I’ve learned the most is that no matter what happens, I come out of it stronger. How do I do that? That’s what my story is about. After reading it, you’ll understand why I could start over time and time again and how I do it: ‘This isn’t it, but what is?’ I lost everything, but I was able to restart every time. How? In my case, by charting new dreams and setting new goals.

How did this come about?

I grew up in Lottum, the rose village of the Netherlands. A small, protective community that wasn’t very world-oriented. But as an 18-year-old, I wanted to see the world, discover new things, and push my boundaries.

I pursued a Bachelor’s degree in Tourism in Leiden, but because there were no jobs in that sector at the time, I started working as a receptionist at DHL. I was determined to work and not rely on welfare. I also didn’t want to return to the world I grew up in.

Over the next few years, I worked my way up to a leadership position at DHL, learning that I am results-oriented. But I also discovered a personal pitfall: difficulty saying ‘no’ out of fear of rejection.

This could have been a breeding ground for a burnout, but it didn’t happen to me then.

Building on Myself
In the following years, being results-oriented served me well. A no-nonsense mentality: I was unexpectedly laid off, so back to square one. What happened was an external factor I had no control over, and all I had was MYSELF.

So, I started over again. At the age of 30, I became a secretary at Centraal Beheer. This was the first step toward project and process management in the IT world at Achmea.

Additionally, I and my partner built a car window repair business from the ground up while working part-time. Hard work, but the goal was to build a good future and retire early. After 13 years, it happened: I was 43 when we moved to Spain. The idea was to see the world and discover new things… I enjoyed the different culture, language, people, and customs.

But the good life as a retiree wasn’t for me. I was too young and wanted to keep working. This led me to various project-based jobs in the tourism sector in Spain, the Netherlands, and Italy. This included writing content for various websites and a summer brochure for a tour operator. I also founded the Dutch Diva’s Andalusia networking group in East Malaga. Furthermore, I worked to assist Dutch-speaking entrepreneurs in Spain. I enjoy supporting businesses and building networks, and I’m at my best when solving dynamic, challenging business issues. Nowadays, we call this crisis management.

Results-driven, a networker, and a connector. Additionally, I discovered that I have a way with words.

Back to My Roots
For personal reasons, I returned to the Netherlands in 2014 and ended up in a place I never thought I’d return to. Here, I found my dream job: Park Manager for 20 business parks of Ondernemend Venlo, a role that suits me perfectly. Nowadays, I also work for the Foundation for Sustainable Business Parks; there is an important task for all of us in the future.

I have fulfilled my dreams and wishes three times! I hope my story inspires others, that I can help others with it, and that I can empower (young) women in Limburg in a world that is still often dominated by men.

I would love to share my experience to help others increase their self-confidence, become more aware of their own qualities, skills, and successes, and help them create a more positive self-image. Take control, decide what you want to do, and always believe in yourself.

Share some of the significant challenges or breakthroughs in your career that have led you to where you are today.

Challenges related to stereotypes about women in careers
In society, we see that women my age often work in supportive administrative roles. My parents didn’t see the need for a girl to pursue an education, so there was no encouragement. However, I decided to study anyway and even went back to school in the evenings alongside my job. I pursued a vocational HBO education.

Learn and rely on your strengths
There have been several breakthroughs in my life, and they have made me stronger.

I learned not to be afraid and to stand up for myself. If I truly want something, I dare to take the plunge. No matter how much tension runs through my body and my whole being protests. My pitfall is something I need to be constantly aware of.

I can only advise others to pay attention to their feelings and listen to their bodies, as feelings come before logic.

Starting over as a single woman
In 2014, I returned to the Netherlands from Spain with only two suitcases of clothes and a wealth of experience. I literally left everything behind, even my beloved Labrador! This was one of the hardest decisions I ever made. When you’ve lost everything, how do you rebuild your life?

I had forgotten to tie up loose ends and relied on verbal agreements. What did I learn from this? When it comes to the business side of life, trust is good, but verifying is better. It was a tough lesson because I had to litigate for years. I now try to pay closer attention and trust myself more. I stand up for myself, and I still use “check if it’s right” in my work.

I often asked myself, “What’s the worst that can happen if you fail?” That helped me put things in perspective. Lesson learned: I should ask this question earlier in the process. And I need to be careful not to focus solely on the result; I also need to focus on myself.

Learning from behavior that holds you back

In our interviews, we often discuss the “12 behaviors that hold you back” – as researched and published in the book ‘How Women Rise’ by Sally Helgesen and Marshall Goldsmith. We asked Lidy if she could identify with any of these 12 behaviors that prevent women from advancing in their careers.

Perfectionism
I had it from a young age due to family circumstances.

I realized I became a perfectionist because I cared about how others saw me. Did people think I or my work was good enough? I worked harder and tried to achieve a lot because I thought it was necessary to be well-liked.

I learned that it’s more a form of insecurity: relying more on others’ judgment than my own feelings. Now, I am someone with more self-confidence. When I feel good and happy, I can handle challenges better than ever before.

People-Pleasing Behavior
Due to my perfectionism, I developed people-pleasing behavior.

Helpful, attentive, and concerned about others. Trying to maintain a good atmosphere and harmony but not setting boundaries and not being able to say ‘no.’ I hardly asked for attention for myself.

Someone who always works for others. It got me to where I am now. But it’s also my pitfall, and I need to be alert to it: I don’t need to defend myself, and ‘no’ is also an answer.

I can now enjoy the moment and choose myself. I stop and appreciate a beautiful view or a gesture that I would have otherwise overlooked.

If you find yourself in a difficult situation, what is your go-to skill?
When a difficult problem arises, I switch to problem-solving mode and take action. I don’t let a crisis distract me: we get to work! A great example of this is the Maas River flooding in 2021. It was Thursday, July 15th, and dozens of businesses in the industrial areas of Venlo were also at risk of flooding.

Because I always support others, I have a huge level of trust. I immediately called everyone in my network to discuss the situation. By Friday morning, we had already launched a project to protect the harbor area from the Maas River, including the construction of an emergency dike. I was able to achieve this because I had built an extensive network of people who trusted me.

What advice would you give other professional women who want to excel in their careers?
I owe much of what I’ve learned about myself to professional coaching.

Find a mentor, someone who is there for others. Let yourself be stimulated, provoked, and always keep laughing and embark on a journey that inspires and motivates you.

What I want to offer other women is the opportunity to brainstorm together: I’m open to that. And when things get tough, remember that you can rise with the help of others and come out stronger.

I wish everyone could be where I am now.